Mental flexibility or Day 122/365 or Day 5 of HybridLove

Mental Flexibility

One of the things that I'm learning is to be truely open in ways that I hadn't imagined myself ever doing. So here are some things that my opinion has shifted radically on:

1) Pay gap
2) Feminism
3) Porn
4) Right to own guns

What? Pay gap this is an interesting one and it isn't really as simple as 'women are paid only 74 cents for ever dollar a man earns'. Am I denying sexism or a host of other things? No because I don't know now and I'm not willing to be take an idea and blindly run with it.

There are issues and I'm not denying. However the narrative that women are repressed across the board that we must all fight for women is a broken narrative. We've succeeded at that. However does that mean that there isn't work to be done everwhere? No not at all. This is shocking for me as someone whose has kept mouthing that I'm a feminist and that I'm working to make it an equal society and blah blah blah.

Porn isn't bad, it's just an exploration of human sexuality. There are many corrosive parts and many not. I'm no longer for or against, it's now a very interesting area which is just 'it depends'.

Yes one should have the right to own guns. People kill guns are just a mean. It's something that I'm still exploring but I no longer adhere to the belief that guns should be banned.

These come from facts not from personal choice. It's scary to have things you used to believe in so utterly change. I could ignore the issue but I wouldn't live well with myself. Sure you can write me off as a 'Republican`, 'Trump supporter' or anything that makes me less of a person if that makes you feel better.

I'll tell you this, I'm neither a Republican nor a Trump supporter. I'm part of the people who actually think and examine ideas and question preexisting narratives.

Does this mean I'm a holocaust denier or a racist or any other loaded terms that allow you to stay safe in your cocoon of ignorance? No. However I'm not going to just accept the story that X is right and if you're a real Y then you obviously must believe in Z.

I'm up for a civil discussion based on fact and mutual respect anytime.

Truth and Lies

So now if you do truth and lies as a way to correct or create the correct inner dialog you'll find that the problem slips or morphs into a slightly different thing as you are getting to the core of whatever the problem is that you're addressing.

This is where it's crucial to reevaluate and add or change preexisting trueth and lies to match the new reality while protecting the reclaimed you. They really don't even have to make sense to anyone but you, here's an example for one of mine that I recently added:

"
Lie:

If I don't listen to my parents, I'm going to be abandoned again

Truth:

I don't have to listen to my parents.
I am an adult and I can fend fully for myself.
Just because I disagree with them doesn't mean they will abandon me
My parents will love me even if I disagree with them
"

The point as always is to follow your stream of worries and write what first comes to your mind. It's easy to self over analyze (I find it quite comforting because you can pretend to be doing the 'work' when all you're really doing is avoiding the painful work). Make sure you keep you're response short and in simple words (or whatever word complexity works best at evoking those emotions so you can name, reclaim and make tame.

Name -> Naming the emotions is a really good step. For my lie the emotion is primarily fear with a bit of panic and a drop of bucket of self blame which would be self loathing or hatred.

Reclaim -> Just because you're feeling the emotion doesn't mean it's true (even though it's a valid emotion). You need to own and accept the emotion.

Tame -> Some emotions have many layers such as anger and will keep shifting around. Taming is dependent on the emotion some emotions just sorta disappear after you've addressed them, other's become more manageable and still others are much more sticky or hard to dispell or tame..

Florence Ambrose

I've discovered her in Freefall, then in The Whiteboard and now in Carry On. This is extremely cool and serves as a familiar in otherwise unfamiliar comics.


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