Day 60/365 or day 17/28 for Singing Phoenix

What I accomplished today

  • Pivot [120]
    Major change in what Sapphire Pack is going to do. This came after a life changing opportunity that we were offered.
    Sapphire Pack was always about providing cutting edge help. What does that mean? Means providing the best improvement and best environment as possible.

    There's still alot more that must be figured out but Sapphire Pack isn't deep work anymore. We are saddened but at the same time exhilarated. Yes there is the sunk cost of the microphone and camera. However we really believe we're making the right decision. At this point we've decided to stop living so absolutely strictly and beating ourselves up when we don't "achieve" something that was a massive endeavour. We're here to be fluid and flexible. That's what we're doing. We've achieved alot more than we've every done in a previous 60 day period. We've managed to get a company registered, process of writing and researching curriculum, learning to record, audio. However there is still 305 days of Sapphire Pack. We promised we were going to launch it and we will.

Singing Phoenix

6 minutes. Making rest up tomorrow.

What real success is

You want it now but realize that since your just starting now you'll have to settle for later
You will be putting in the hard work and actually asking and doing the hard work and questions
You are willing to make sacrifices
For example for whatever your escapist behaviour(s) are : be willing, wanting and actually giving up immediate transmutation of any feelings into a better feeling. We feel horrible emotions but that transmutation costs us some of the best emotions that we can ever feel. We suffer, but the bearing out of the suffer makes you realize just how beautiful the emotions are. All of them. You stop trying to run away, you embrace the swirl of emotion. It's alright to grasp for one, but don't make a point of chasing it when it disappears. You'll feel that again, we promise.

Not only that, you begin to see the impossibly subtle differences in your own emotions and others. You stop trying to turn to others to tell you what you're supposed to be feeling. You stop trying to rationalize that you should feel X or you shouldn't feel Y. You start to discover what really makes you happy, you start to discover what really makes you sad. You begin to notice these tiny emotional tremors, how your thoughts can impact your emotions and how your emotions can impact your thoughts. You learn to become almost like a cultivator, cultivating your mind, learning that you can control to a certain extent what occurs more often. You can't force, but you can create the conditions. However, just like soil, things will change, you'll have to rediscover. It's a never ending journey. There's something new to understand regarding our relationship between us, our thoughts and our emotions.

Some days you will stop trying to be so diligent and give yourself more slack, because the emotions are more wild or powerful and other days, you'll have to prop up the emotions and care for them like you would a wounded plant. Never do you attempt to completely claim them, they are ephemeral things, here for a short time and gone again. There is no point in claiming them. What you do is name them, greet them with reverence and love. Feel how it feels to feel that emotion, what is just stress from emotion and what is just mechanical stress from existing and moving.

Embrace the emotions, let them just exist, but don't let them grow in areas you don't want. It's about balance. Some emotions that you consider "bad" may be bad for you at this time, but other times may be your most necessary emotion. Stop labeling.

Emotions, feeling, sensations, thoughts, pressure. Feel and embrace. Exist and love. Accept and reject. There is no perfect answer, what works for us now in this moment, may not work tomorrow or yesterday and perhaps not ever for them. What works for them may be exactly what we don't need.

However we don't know until we try.

Welcome to your inner world. You are amazing.

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